B Plus Movies

When people tell me that a movie was bad, it peaks my interest. I accept if not enjoy that my movie tastes are different than the mainstream and different from even some of the people who I can geek out with. But every once in a while, something tests my boundaries, pushes me too far and I have to say, yes, that was a bad movie.

And this is how my fascination ended with the movie Meet The Feebles.

I was psyched to see this movie. It’s directed by none other than Peter Jackson, Oscar winning director of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. When a friend insisted that all of us at her birthday party sit down and watch it, I was up for it.  Five seconds in I was shrieking internally “They gave this guy Lord of the Rings?” I felt a little part of all that was good and right in the world dying. I thought I was going to vomit. And then, it got worse.

The story in Meet the Feebles takes place behind the scenes on a children’s television program, much like unto The Muppet Show. Also like The Muppet Show, the fuzzy animal actors and plush actresses are not mere puppets, but just as they appear on screen. A hedgehog comes to join the cast and soon is pulled into a world of sex, corruption, drugs and violence.

No, really.

While in and of itself, the concept attracted me rather than turned me off, the execution is what made me physically ill. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the direction or the acting, it’s that they went straight past gross and dove head first into the repulsive. Jokes are made in broad swaths of feces and  vomit, followed by senseless tragedy and gore. Every place they could push the limits they did, from the sex scenes to the finale involving a depressed Hippo and an M-60 machine gun.

I couldn’t finish this movie. And I saw Howard the Duck twice on opening night.

Some of the characters are cute when they’re not being disgusting. There’s also a neat moment where they parody the Russian roulette scene in The Deer Hunter. That’s about as much as I can say positive about this cinematic abortion.

Occasionally the limits of good taste need to be pushed, lest we take ourselves too seriously. But even that in mind, there are things that should probably never be committed to celluloid. A good many of those are in this movie.

Meet the Feebles has the dubious honor of being the first movie I give an F.  While I’m sure that this will make Peter Jackson cry and blow his nose on a 100 bill, I tell you don’t go see this movie. If you fail to heed this warning, bring a strong stomach, an airsick bag and remember that what you see cannot be unseen.